What Your Bra Says About You (On a Date)
As it turns out, if you obsess about which over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder to pull from the ol’ bra(wer) drawer, you’re totally justified. We can tell quite a bit about you from the type of breast support you rely on.
Bandeau Bra: You’re confident.
Underwire Bra: You understand compromise.
Built-In Bra: You value convenience.
Convertible Bra: It’s important to you to keep your options open.
Padded Bra: You’re pragmatic.
Sheer Bra: People fall in love with you too easily.
Push-Up Bra: You’re very, very tricky.
Hanes Racerback Bra: You didn’t expect to hook up tonight.
Victoria’s Secret Racerback Bra: You wanted it to look like you didn’t expect to hook up tonight.
Demi Bra: You’re hot.
Front Hook Bra: I’m not saying it means anything. I’m just saying that the ease with which another person can take it off might have crossed your mind.
Minimizer Bra: You’re modest.
T-Shirt Bra: You’re just, like, casually chillin’. It’s whatevs. (Except not really, because then you would have just worn a regular bra and not cared that the seams showed.)
No Bra: No one’s going to tell you what to do. Not even your breasts.
Corset: You’re a biter. And kind of a nerd.
The Playtex 18 Hour Bra: You’re one of the pretty ladies who works at the bank. It’s also 1986 and I have a giant crush on you.
Bullet Bra: There is such a thing as being way too into Mad Men.
Maternity Bra: You’re, um, pregnant?
Shelf Bra: You’re kinky. Or you just didn’t know they were supposed to cover your whole boob.
Water Bra: You don’t really know about… stuff.
Seashell Bra: If it’s Halloween, you’re dressed up as the Little Mermaid. Hot! If it’s not Halloween, you had terrible parents.
Coconut Bra: You’re a virgin. Who narrowly escaped sacrifice by way of being-thrown-into-a-volcano and didn’t have time to change.
Adhesive Bra: You live your life like you’re on the red carpet–ridiculously.
–Written by Scott Alden for HowAboutWe.com